Pretending
by Flames101
Summary: PostEpSeason7Finale: Hotch confronts JJ on her big night. Why doesn't he believe that Will is who she truly wants? Some minor-spoilers for the episdoe. JJ/Hotch one-shot.


**A/N:** Hey all! This is a post episode story for this week's season finale. So, if you haven't seen it I wouldn't suggest reading this, even though it's not too spoiler-y. Anyways… you can consider this a missing scene type of fic, because there wasn't a single moment between JJ and Hotch during that whole ending montage. And if you're a Jotch fan, I know how irritated you were by that. So here's an angsty piece to kind of explain why they didn't go near each other. Hope you enjoy.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Criminal Minds. But, CBS if you were to hire me as a writer I'd work for little to no money as long as you allow me to add Jotch-y moments in Season 8. Consider it…

**Pretending:**

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The night was winding down and he had yet to approach her alone. He was afraid. He knew what he was supposed to say, but he didn't think he had it in him to say it. How do you tell the one you love that you'd let them go if that was what they wanted you to do?

Looking across the dance floor, he caught sight of the beautiful blonde, bathed in the faint light from the lanterns all around them. She looked like an angel. She _was_ an angel. For a brief moment, JJ stood alone in the middle of the dance floor. Any second now, someone would swoop in and claim the blushing bride for the next dance. This was his chance to get in there and finally tell her congratulations. If only he had the courage to give her up.

Her gaze landed on him and the small frown on her face was almost imperceptible. But he saw it. He knew that she knew he was struggling.

"Don't, Aaron," JJ whispered, sorrowfully, as he suddenly stood before her.

He took her hand in his guiding it to his shoulder as he folded her other in his left hand, pulling her close to sway to the slow music. He savored the feel of her, knowing that this was probably the last time he'd get to be with her like this.

"Don't what?" he asked quizzically.

He'd been working hard all night to keep his sadness off his face. He'd even gone so far as to bring another woman to her wedding. He was desperately trying to pretend that this wasn't killing him.

"I know you want to tell me how wrong this is," JJ explained, shaking her head.

Hotch grimaced. His acting skills needed some brushing up; either that or she truly knew him so well. Probably the latter, he never could hide anything from her.

"I'm not here to say anything other than congratulations…" he informed her smoothly, silently praising his unwavering tone. "I just wanted one dance with the beautiful bride…"

"Oh." She blushed at his words, and then frowned again. She turned her head to the side, knowing that he could read her through her expression.

After a silent minute, just moving to the music, JJ blurted out, "I'm happy, really."

He let out a sad sigh. If she wasn't going to ignore the reason he was really there that moment, he wasn't going to pretend anymore, either. "Are you really?"

"Yes," she stated adamantly, as if trying to convince herself. "I wanted this. I want Will. This has nothing to do with what happened between you and me."

Images from that one night they'd shared alone together flashed back into his mind. It was hard to forget a night like that where they'd been so in sync, so in tune to each other.

His frown deepened. He was a profiler of many years; he knew crap when he heard it.

"Bullshit," he exclaimed.

"Excuse me?" she replied, alarmed.

"This has everything to do with what happened between us, JJ. You got scared. Scared of this amazing thing between us and how it could change our lives. And when Will got hurt you found the perfect excuse to jump into things with him and ultimately distance yourself from me. This is all about you and me… I just wish you weren't afraid to admit it."

Her mouth dropped open. "Are you calling me a coward?"

He nodded his head. "Yes," he answered unnecessarily.

Angrily, she said, "I don't want to do this right now, Hotch."

"Fine," he allowed. "But don't think that just because you and Will have made it official that this," he said as he pressed the pads of his fingers to her heart briefly, "is over between us, JJ. It doesn't work that way. I still have feelings for you and I _know_ you have feelings for me."

She laughed incredulously. "You have feelings for _me_?" she almost shouted, keeping her tone in check only at the last second. "You're the one who brought another woman to my wedding. You're still with Beth!"

Hotch looked at her dead on, he wasn't about to deny anything or lie. "Yeah, I did. And you want to know why I'm still with her? Because… Jack adores her…" he confessed. "And I don't have the heart to take yet another person away from him… I won't… Unless…"

"Unless what?" JJ wondered.

"Unless I can give Jack the person he loves more… Jack adores you, JJ…" Hotch relayed.

Her face softened at this admission. She knew that his son was very fond of her.

"Don't do that, Aaron," JJ admonished, shaking her head once again. "Don't make this about Jack…"

He let out a sigh. She was right. Right now this was about her and him and no one else. "All right…"

Hotch spun her around the dance floor, aware that the music was slowly coming to an end and with it his chance with her. He could see Will waiting on the edge, anxiously, wanting to claim his new wife for himself. But for the moment, for the rest of the song she was his and his alone.

"I'll wait for you, JJ," he decided. "I'll wait, because I love you…"

"Aaron—" she said, voice coming out hoarse.

He pulled back to see the tears in her eyes. She opened her mouth to reply, but he could see what she wanted to say there in her bright blue eyes. And for now, that would be enough, knowing that she did care for him. Because, all too quickly, the music was ending and they were no longer alone.

"May I cut in?" Will's voice broke through.

Hotch glanced at the detective who had inadvertently stolen his happiness. He wanted to say no, he wanted to rant and rave, JJ was his. But he couldn't. Because as long as she was acting as if _they_ didn't exist he had to go on pretending, too.

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Well, hope you enjoyed. And I hope you'll let me know what you think. Thanks!


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